Gender Bender
by sister-forever
Summary: Random One-shots about various characters who got their gender swapped due to the formidable powers of a random author with crazy ideas. Viewers discretion is advised. -I do not own the Troll Face-
1. Episode 1

**DISCLAIMER!** I do not own KHR or any of those sorts. All randomness's are from my everyday life.

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Bloody Bel

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Bel looked around the bathroom in a disorder manner. She was sure that she has had placed them somewhere in this bathroom a few days ago, safely hidden in the cupboard under the sink. She was sure that there were some other random things inside too, such as extra toilet rolls and soap bars. However, no matter how many times she opened and closed the cupboard doors, it appeared to be empty. Completely empty. Nada.

A small wave of panic ran through her eyes behind her long golden bangs. No one has seen it, right? Not anyone, especially those unruly men that she lives with at the moment. Speaking of unruly men, surely…

No, that's impossible. There's no way…

She cursed them under her breath. However, that still doesn't make her missing pads and tampons reappear in front of her eyes. Of course, she wanted to cuss out loud, but that would attract unwanted attention from those nuisances.

"I swear I will kill whoever that hid them," she muttered silently as her eyes burned with a newfound vengeance. She snickered to herself, imagining a million different gory scenes whereby the culprit screams in pain and writhes in horror as she tortures him (or them) in various ways.

She licked her lips.

But still, the problem was not solved yet.

Looking around the room, she considered her options. One – take a risk and run out without any form of protection. Two – use bathroom tissues as a temporary pad. Three – call Luss… without a phone.

As soon as she thought of the third option, she chucked it without a hesitation. Calling Luss would mean the worse death ever, to the point where it was a million times worse than getting her royal guts ripped off by some filthy animal.

The first option would be risky. What if someone caught her when she was on her way to get a _proper_ pad and drag her away for hours? Or worse still, to be trapped in the office with that shark-freak forever as he writes a stupid report for that drunkard who would probably never touch it for the rest of his life.

That would leave the second option as the most appropriate choice. Those paper towels would probably last her for a few hours if it is thick enough, and it would certainly buy her time even if she was getting dragged away for stupid reasons. However, those darn paper towels sure doesn't feel good being down there, well not to _her _for that matter.

She thought hard about it, going back and forth between the first option and the second. Seriously, this is like the chicken and egg dilemma, except there weren't any chickens, just eggs.

Darn that boss of hers. Why didn't he assign her a room with a goddamn _shower _in it? That would solve this dilemma. In fact, this problem wouldn't even exist in the first place! That's it. First choice it is then – there is no way in hell she would allow herself to wear something as uncomfortable as _that_ in her panties.

Still cursing everyone in her head, she got dressed in record time and flew out of the bathroom before anyone noticed anything.

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The End

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A/N: I suddenly got this idea on a random day because I saw something random that somehow reminds me of a pad. That got me inspired to do a crack-fic with gender benders, whereby every chapter consists of one gender changed character in what would be his/her daily life. Please leave a review and tell me what you think!

Thanks.

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OMAKE

(One day ago…)

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"**VOOOOI! WHERE, IN THIS GODDAMN BATHROOM, DID THAT DAMN GAY PUT THE EXTRA SOAP BARS!?"**

The all-time famous shark captain rampaged as he turned the contents in the cupboard beneath the sink upside down – yes, people, it's the same bathroom where Bel's hidden stash were. He cussed loudly, not even bothering to reconsider his choice of words given that he has been repeating the same few sentence over and over again.

He rummaged around the stuff inside the cupboard roughly and tossed them out of the window. One by one, various toiletries made their grand exit through the open window. Obviously, that includes the bag of clean women sanitation which the Princess has secretly stashed away previously _**and the bag of extra soap bars which are placed neatly in a pile at the inner-most corner.**_

Not that the shark infested brain of the captain really cared or bothered to check the contents one at a time; He just wanted to get a damn bar of soap and get the heck out of there, not that anyone really cared what he would be using that soap bar for.

Eventually, the cupboard ran out of items for the captain to discard and he stormed away grumpily, with a string of vulgarities trailing behind him.

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Please be kind and leave a heart-warming motivation for me. It is very much appreciated (and I truly mean it).

**More reviews = More Motivation**


	2. Episode 2

**DISCLAIMER! **I do not own KHR or any of those sorts.

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Behind Closed Doors

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Squalo and Bel were casually walking down the hallway until they saw Levi pressing his ears against the bottom of a cup with its other end on the door. Naturally, the captain and the prince couldn't be bothered to know what that boot-licker was up to, especially when that was the entrance to the Sun Guardian's room. Well… not until they heard a young female's voice that appeared to be coming from inside the room.

"Are you sure about this?" a voice could be heard behind the closed door.

"Don't worry, no one will notice unless there is a stain on the carpet." Another voice replied.

Squalo and Bel's ears twitched for a split second as they stared at the lightning guardian and the door, alternating between the two for a few times. Obviously, something was amiss here. Levi beckoned them to join him as he offered them the extra glass cups.

However, no one bothered wondering why on earth Levi was outside Luss' room with **three** glass cups. But I guess that wasn't the focus now, was it?

Carefully and silently getting everything in place, the three guardians listened to the conversation like creepy stalkers. The conversation inside continued.

"Here, take this," there was a pause and the three eavesdropper assumed something was exchanged between the two of them, "quickly lick this side, or it will drip onto the carpet!" Luss squealed excitedly.

Tons of different images flashed across their minds. What can a male and a female do behind a closed door that involved licking and stains on carpets?

The shark captain felt anger boiling in his blood; he could not accept the fact that the _**best**_ assassin squad in on Earth was actually doing something so… disturbing in their sacred base, not that the Varia base was holy or anything, but still. It took the other two guardians' effort to stop him from charging in recklessly and to keep on listening.

A few seconds past with silence, from both sides of the door.

Then suddenly, one of Luss' giggles could be heard. "Oh my, Fran-chan! Look at your face, it's so messy! You have cream all over the place… Let's hope that there won't be any stains on the carpet."

Fran replied monotonously as usual, "It's because it is thick and yummy and it drips all over my fingers."

The stalkers outside could feel heat slowly creeping up their necks. Belphegor, in particular, felt a little offended after listening to their exchange inside. For one, doing _**it**_ with Luss was already bad enough. For two, doing _**it**_ with Luss **before** anyone else (especially him) was something completely unheard of. He never knew that Luss was into girls a lot younger than he was.

The Storm Guardian has concluded with his royal reasoning –_ Luss was a pedophile._

And the Storm Guardian was also sure about another thing – _Fran was a Gerontophilia._

Satisfied with his conclusion, the storm guardian stood up to leave, but he was stopped by the other two who hushed him. Once again, they tuned in.

"It's sad, the others doesn't seem to like this stuff…" Luss stated sadly, "… They all rejected me when I told them that it's sticky, sweet, and creamy."

"As a matter of fact, I think they are listening to us outside now."

"Really!? I'll ask them for a second time then," Luss chirped happily as he walked towards the door. Excitedly, he swings the door open only to find a few shards of glass pieces scattered in front of the entrance.

"Did you tell them that it is _spermy_ too?" Fran asked dully. Her mind was trolling to the maximum even though her facial features declared otherwise.

"Oh my, Fran! Don't be naughty. What do you mean by 'spermy'?" the Sun Guardian cried out, feeling a little outraged at the thought of those naughty boys thinking about naughty things. "How can **ice-cream** be '_spermy' _!?"

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The End

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A/N: I searching up on the definition of "innuendo" and I realized that innuendos are really hilarious when one party was only given half the truth and the conclusions they could come up with. Of course, I am a really innocent person, so please excuse my immature-ness in any way.

**If you have a great idea, do drop me a review or a private message! All are welcomed!**

Well then, time for the extras:

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Omake

(For anyone who is interested in knowing why Levi was outside Luss' room in the first place)

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The older man's ears jerked when he accidentally overheard the mother-wannabe inviting the young female adolescent for a snack after dinner. Of course, that would seem perfectly normal until he heard the part about it being 'creamy, sticky and sweet'. If it were happening out of the Varia Headquarters, he would have cared less. However, it didn't seem like it was going to happen anywhere else except for Luss' bedroom.

His moustache twitched, sensing it would be a good idea to observe and report to the Honorable Boss when necessary. Being in the elite assassin squad, maintaining a professional image was the least one could do. Levi was glad that he could do something that would make Boss proud of him as his right-hand man.

Not much was being exchanged between the two targets, noted the Lightning Guardian as he glanced at them once in a while through his slit eyes. The targets only interacted with each other when the fake prince _asked _(more like commanded) the female target to get him more chips and snacks.

Nothing much happened during dinner too; with the exception that both targets ate a little lesser than their usual amount. The self-proclaimed right-hand man made a mental note about that.

After dinner, he shadowed them (equipped with a notebook and three glass cups in case of emergency) until both of his targets entered the room where he stayed there till the storm and the rain guardians found him.

'_Great', _he thought to himself as he 'invited' them to join him in case they decided to create chaos that would make his targets come out of the room, '_now I will have to share credits with the both of them.'_

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Please be kind and leave a heart-warming motivation for me. It is very much appreciated (and I truly mean it).

**If you have a great idea, do drop me a review or a private message! All are welcomed!**

**More reviews = More Motivation**


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